Have Fun Meeting New People But Guard Your Heart!
Exercise Caution Online
It is quite commonplace these days for people to meet online. The internet is a fantastic place to meet tons of new friends and get to know others.
Online dating is truly becoming mainstream. Now the world can be your oyster!
While you are having fun, I do encourage you to exercise caution and move slowly. The internet allows you opportunity to get to know about a person before you decide to meet them in person. While that is a great advantage, you can also be fooled. In many cases all that glitters is NOT gold.
Chatting online can create a false state of intimacy. You think you really know John or Angela and the attraction you begin to experience often does not hold up with a face to face meeting.
One of my clients was spending an increasing amount of time with her new friend Mike. They exchanged pictures and chatted several times a week at first. As things seemed to progress, they found themselves attracted to each other. Sound good so far? Just hold on a minute.
Angela found herself intrigued about Mike. He said he was recently divorced and was looking for a princess to spoil. His marriage was good but over time he and his ex wife grew apart. He had one daughter in her early 20’s who just landed a pretty good job after college. He was looking to retire in a few years.
Angela began sharing more and more about herself. She talked about her teenage kids and Mike even said he would be a good role model for her teens. Things seemed to moving along nicely.
After a few months of chatting and exchanging emails, Angela felt it she was comfortable enough to give Mike her cell phone number. After all, they were attracted and wanted to meet face to face. They spend a good amount of time chatting. They even talked a few times about plans for the future and both expressed an interest getting married if the right person came along.
He would text her when he went out of town on business and would IM her often. A real relationship seemed to be developing.
Mike expressed his desire to talk to her and to finally meet her. One day, he just called her on the phone. She was not expecting his call and was not prepared for it. She was in the middle of fixing dinner, getting her kids settled and a million other tasks.
Needless to say, that first phone call was not a romantically charged great conversation they talked about so often. It was pleasant but no sparks were flying. What happened?
Well Mike stopped all the attention almost immediately. When they chatted online, he would say he was busy at work, on his way to play golf or give some reason he couldn’t talk to her.
Angela was hurt and so surprised. She thought she was doing everything right. She was not needy or clingy. She never nagged him. He said she was fun and had an air of mystery. They seemed like a good match. Nevertheless, Mike disappeared.
After looking back on the path of this relationship that could have been but never was, Angela could see how a false sense of intimacy was created online. They both were buying into something that would not stand up to the reality of their everyday lives.
This happens quite often in online relationships. You must be cautious yet not afraid to try getting to know someone online. Just make sure what you think is happening is real and not created by imagination.
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