The Right Way vs. Wrong Way
Breaking up can be very painful. If the relationship has lasted several months, there normally are feelings involved. The key is when one party had decided to end the relationship, there should be honesty and sensitivity.
When there is a breakup, there is generally one person that is hurt or confused when it ends. It is advisable that one sits down with their partner and explains why they feel the relationship isn’t working. People have a difficult time doing this face to face.
Depending on the circumstances, having a talk in person doesn’t always work. However, if someone has been planning this change, it is the most decent way to split up and will cause less hurt and confusion afterwards.
Normally, when there is a split, it has been brewing for awhile. When there is no communication, there is more likely the possibility of a break up.
What many times happens is that one party will start distancing them self from their partner. Then, the natural thing is to start questioning why. For a man to be questioned, it normally results in feelings of more pressure and many times has a negative result.
Men have more difficulty expressing their feelings than women. Women become emotional often during a breakup and men often disappear. They don’t like a lot of drama and in addition simply don’t have the answers that a female is asking for.
The worst thing is to avoid your partner or break up with an email, instant message or text message. That is both a sign of immaturity and insensitivity.
What Not to Do After a Breakup
Breaking up can be very painful especially if you were not expecting it. These are some tips that might help ease the pain and allow you to move on.
1. Don’t remain “just friends” with your ex. Perhaps sometime in the future that will be possible. It is not advisable in the beginning as this gives you hope that it may workout. You might find yourself holding on to every shred of contact as a single that your ex love still cares.
2. Give your self time to be sad. Don’t just brush the feelings under the table. Allow yourself time to have some good cries.
3. Don’t hold onto a lot of material memories. If you received a teddy bear or some cute little trinket, give it away or throw it away. It is better not to have it around your house to be a reminder.
4 Don’t close yourself off from friends. If you have good friends, they will be there for you to listen and console. It is important that you don’t isolate yourself. Being alone at times is okay, but you need to be in the company of others as well.
5.Don’t just jump into another relationship for attention and love. You might find your self with the same kind of person that you just broke up with. Give yourself time to evaluate what went wrong and if you are selecting the wrong type. Also, if you jump into a relationship too quickly again, you might find that a repeat of a broken heart is more than you can endure again.
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