YGA: What are the feelings you have about being in the closet?
Matt: REALLY ANNOYING! lol. I just do not like the fact that in America you are straight until proven gay. It puts a lot of pressure on you because everyone assumes you are straight. It’s not fair because when I am hanging out with my friends and a girl says “Oh that guy is hot” I have to just ignore it and pretend I am interested in some “hot” girl.
YGA: Do you feel like you are living a lie?
Matt: Sometimes, like when I have to blatantly lie about something like thinking a girl is hot. But other times I feel that it’s just something I have to go through and I have to lie about it sometimes. When a girl flirts with me and I “flirt” back it can get very annoying because I just wish I was flirting with some guy.
YGA: What about your friends?
Matt: Well some of my friends I know will be very supportive (the girls) and some won’t (the guys lol). For the first time ever I actually told my friend Chelsea (yes!) and she was awesome about it. My other friends make gay prejudiced jokes all the time and if I tell them I fear that I will become the victim of many jokes.
YGA: What are you afraid of most?
Matt: I am mostly afraid of telling the guys I am friends with. I don’t want them to always be thinking in their head “Is he looking at me?”. I don’t fear telling my dad at all because I KNOW he would be OK with it. I’m also afraid that it limits my possibilities. For instance, this year I am class president in my grade. I know that most of the grade would not vote for me knowing I am gay.
YGA: What do you wish for more than anything else?
Matt: I just wish that society did not assume that everyone is straight unless they say they are gay. I wish I could just be myself around my friends and not have to pretend to be someone I am not.
YGA: Do you have anyone you can talk to about coming out?
Matt: Well I have my freind Chelsea, but before her no one. I say if you can’t to someone USE THE INTERNET lol. That’s how I found this website. Reading other people’s sucess stories really helps you realize that it is a possible goal for yourself.
YGA: Do you think your parents will take it well?
Matt: My mom died a year ago but thinking back on it I know she would love me no matter what. I have a VERY liberal family so I know that my dad will be fine with it. He has a gay friend himself so I think the only think from stopping me from telling him is… wait there is nothing! I really should and I know one day I will be able to.
YGA: What do you think coming out of the closet will bring you?
Matt: PEACE-OF-MIND. I can not wait to just be myself around everyone I know. But I also realize that it will bring on a lot of ridicule unfortunately. I do think though that when I come out of the closet I will be much happier and be able to be myself.
YGA: How has the internet helped you find out about yourself and start the process of coming out?
Matt: WEBSITES LIKE THESE HELP, hearing other people’s success stories is great encouragement. Realizing you’re not the only person who feels the way you do and that there are others is very comforting.
YGA: Any other things you want to say?
Matt: I hope maybe this interview helped someone get one step closer to coming out themselves. AND THANK YOU YGA FOR THE ENCOURAGMENT THAT ALL US GAY TEENS NEED. THANK YOU 😉